1
00:00:01,153 --> 00:00:03,633
Gentlemen, it has been
a pleasure
2
00:00:03,686 --> 00:00:06,621
and an honor to meet you
and your-- your people.
3
00:00:06,689 --> 00:00:10,607
The U.S. Government supports you
in every possible way.
4
00:00:10,642 --> 00:00:13,110
Ideologically, of course.
5
00:00:13,145 --> 00:00:16,279
However, we cannot offer
any military aid at this time.
6
00:00:16,315 --> 00:00:18,148
With all due respect,
Ambassador,
7
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,816
we need more than that.
8
00:00:19,902 --> 00:00:22,614
We are dealing with terrorism
on a daily basis.
9
00:00:22,679 --> 00:00:24,488
Oh, that's so unfortunate.
10
00:00:24,573 --> 00:00:26,490
Warlords overrun villages.
11
00:00:26,575 --> 00:00:27,908
Yes, that's regrettable.
12
00:00:27,993 --> 00:00:31,828
Rapes, tortures,
all manner of human atrocity.
13
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,164
That's really sad,
but the U.S. Military
14
00:00:34,249 --> 00:00:35,832
is simply spread too thin.
15
00:00:35,918 --> 00:00:39,803
We can't afford another
intervention at this time.
16
00:00:39,838 --> 00:00:42,639
But what we could use
your help with really
17
00:00:42,674 --> 00:00:44,891
is protecting
our vulnerable, plentiful,
18
00:00:44,977 --> 00:00:47,928
and newly-discovered
oil reserves.
19
00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:51,231
Oil?
Excuse me one second.
20
00:00:51,316 --> 00:00:53,650
Operation Golden Eagle is a go.
21
00:00:59,775 --> 00:01:01,608
Welcome to democracy.
22
00:01:07,699 --> 00:01:10,117
Uh, we also have
natural gasses!
23
00:01:10,202 --> 00:01:12,869
Oh, yes, a lot.
Lots of it.
24
00:01:12,921 --> 00:01:15,922
(haunting western music)
25
00:01:16,008 --> 00:01:18,282
26
00:01:34,486 --> 00:01:37,748
Sync and corrections by dwigt
addic7ed.com
27
00:01:38,147 --> 00:01:39,896
(groaning loudly)
28
00:01:39,948 --> 00:01:42,699
How's your back doing?
Your back okay?
29
00:01:42,734 --> 00:01:45,068
You need to get an adjustment
from the chiropracticals?
30
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,705
Oh, can you do-- can you do
chiro-- can you do chiropractor?
31
00:01:48,740 --> 00:01:52,742
Just get this.
Get this.
32
00:01:52,795 --> 00:01:54,578
- Just relax it?
- Yeah, relax it.
33
00:01:54,663 --> 00:01:56,913
Give it to me
and let me do the work.
34
00:01:56,999 --> 00:01:59,049
It's nice to be able
to just relax my arm,
35
00:01:59,084 --> 00:02:01,968
but I don't know
that I feel the-- Whoa, whoa,
36
00:02:02,054 --> 00:02:03,503
- whoa, whoa, what?
- What happened? What?
37
00:02:03,589 --> 00:02:05,005
I wasn't doing-- What, what?
38
00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:06,973
- You made me touch your dick.
- No, I didn't.
39
00:02:07,059 --> 00:02:09,259
- It scuffed your crotch, man.
- You didn't come in--
40
00:02:09,344 --> 00:02:10,894
Your fingers
did not touch my crotch.
41
00:02:10,929 --> 00:02:12,479
No, it touched something
down there, man.
42
00:02:12,564 --> 00:02:14,598
You didn't get anywhere
near my crotch.
43
00:02:14,683 --> 00:02:16,817
We have to agree
it was a Ouija board situation.
44
00:02:16,902 --> 00:02:18,151
- It was a Ouija board situation.
- It was-- No,
45
00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:20,937
No, it was a "Jordan
board" situation.
46
00:02:22,975 --> 00:02:24,307
I wake up next to this guy,
47
00:02:24,376 --> 00:02:29,112
and as usual
I don't even know his name.
48
00:02:29,198 --> 00:02:31,804
I'm trying to get dressed
quickly and get out of there
49
00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:33,618
before he wakes up, but...
50
00:02:34,849 --> 00:02:37,120
I can't find my underwear.
51
00:02:37,923 --> 00:02:41,260
I look everywhere,
but I just can't find them,
52
00:02:42,794 --> 00:02:45,128
and then it hits me.
53
00:02:45,214 --> 00:02:48,837
I had left them at another guy's
apartment earlier that night,
54
00:02:50,052 --> 00:02:52,692
and that's when I knew
I had a problem.
55
00:02:58,277 --> 00:03:00,413
Thanks for sharing, Scotty.
56
00:03:01,363 --> 00:03:04,940
Well, I notice a lot
of new faces this evening,
57
00:03:05,317 --> 00:03:07,284
and I'm so glad you all came,
58
00:03:07,319 --> 00:03:11,988
and I want you to know that
this is a safe place to share.
59
00:03:12,074 --> 00:03:14,491
So if you want to tell us
your story,
60
00:03:14,543 --> 00:03:16,121
there'll be no judgment.
61
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,030
Sure, I'll go.
62
00:03:21,884 --> 00:03:23,133
Hi, y'all.
63
00:03:23,168 --> 00:03:25,252
Name's Wendell,
64
00:03:25,337 --> 00:03:28,798
and I am in fact
65
00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,904
a sexual addict.
66
00:03:31,009 --> 00:03:32,926
(all) Hi, Wendell.
67
00:03:33,011 --> 00:03:35,679
And what brings you here,
Wendell?
68
00:03:35,731 --> 00:03:39,015
Well, you know, my life,
69
00:03:39,101 --> 00:03:42,769
sexually speaking, is crazy,
70
00:03:42,854 --> 00:03:44,571
and I just want to find
71
00:03:44,656 --> 00:03:48,515
one single solitary person
72
00:03:49,478 --> 00:03:51,194
to spend the rest
of my life with.
73
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,364
Just one, just one.
74
00:03:54,416 --> 00:03:56,750
So do you feel like
your addiction is
75
00:03:56,835 --> 00:03:58,418
too much to handle right now?
76
00:03:58,503 --> 00:03:59,920
Duh.
77
00:04:00,005 --> 00:04:03,206
I mean, it's been crazy, y'all.
78
00:04:03,292 --> 00:04:06,710
With me, the nastier
the better.
79
00:04:06,795 --> 00:04:08,511
I'm a dirty dog.
80
00:04:08,547 --> 00:04:12,549
Try everything, all the fixings.
81
00:04:12,601 --> 00:04:16,186
Tantric, much like Sting.
82
00:04:16,221 --> 00:04:17,819
All the bells and whistles.
83
00:04:17,846 --> 00:04:20,588
You name it, I've donst it.
84
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:25,061
And when would you say
you hit rock bottom, Wendell?
85
00:04:25,113 --> 00:04:27,280
When it got slippery
outside my shower,
86
00:04:27,366 --> 00:04:29,482
on the floor
outside my shower.
87
00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:31,785
Oh.
88
00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:36,957
I hit rock bottom sexually--
89
00:04:37,042 --> 00:04:39,125
Oh, it was probably last night,
last night.
90
00:04:39,211 --> 00:04:41,828
Do you think that you could
tell us what happened, Wendell?
91
00:04:41,913 --> 00:04:44,247
Yeah, let's see.
92
00:04:44,299 --> 00:04:46,166
It was just like
any other night.
93
00:04:46,251 --> 00:04:48,218
I had ordered a large pie,
94
00:04:48,253 --> 00:04:51,054
pepperoni,
pineapple, cheesy crust,
95
00:04:51,089 --> 00:04:54,227
some cheesy bread on the side.
96
00:04:55,644 --> 00:04:59,211
Cut to 30 "min" later,
97
00:04:59,765 --> 00:05:05,435
Pizza Parlor sent over a
delicious lady delivery person.
98
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,272
Body ten, face ten.
99
00:05:09,358 --> 00:05:11,941
That's my weakness.
100
00:05:11,994 --> 00:05:13,933
So I invited her inside,
101
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,739
opened up the box.
It was hot.
102
00:05:19,084 --> 00:05:22,955
Devoured the first slice
lickety-split, crust first.
103
00:05:23,372 --> 00:05:26,122
Second slice
didn't stand a chance.
104
00:05:26,174 --> 00:05:27,874
Ate the tip of that bitch first,
105
00:05:27,959 --> 00:05:31,628
washed it down with a pop.
106
00:05:31,713 --> 00:05:33,763
Then I got nasty
with the cheesy bread.
107
00:05:33,799 --> 00:05:37,634
My heart started pounding harder
than usual, ker-slunk,
108
00:05:37,719 --> 00:05:39,302
ker-slunk.
109
00:05:39,388 --> 00:05:41,021
- Moved on to the third slice--
- What--
110
00:05:41,106 --> 00:05:42,605
What-- What about the girl?
111
00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:44,140
What girl?
Oh, the girl.
112
00:05:44,226 --> 00:05:47,277
Yeah, she was there too.
113
00:05:47,312 --> 00:05:52,816
I invited her into my boudoir,
aka "the stabbin' cabin."
114
00:05:52,901 --> 00:05:54,891
We disrobed one another.
115
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,104
I touched her on her genitalia.
116
00:05:57,306 --> 00:06:01,166
She touched me on my man-italia,
and that's when I hit it.
117
00:06:02,127 --> 00:06:05,161
Sexually, of course,
118
00:06:05,213 --> 00:06:08,164
Upstairs, downstairs,
all around the town stairs,
119
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,166
as you do,
120
00:06:10,218 --> 00:06:15,055
and by then
it was just another night,
121
00:06:15,140 --> 00:06:19,726
and I mean oil everywhere,
and...
122
00:06:19,811 --> 00:06:22,345
sauce all over me.
123
00:06:23,443 --> 00:06:25,098
S-Sauce?
124
00:06:25,183 --> 00:06:28,985
Oh, yeah,
that's my word for...
125
00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:30,852
ejaculate.
126
00:06:31,523 --> 00:06:34,525
Anyhoo, I'm so distraught
127
00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:36,405
because I feel vulnerable,
128
00:06:36,445 --> 00:06:37,861
and I don't know.
129
00:06:39,147 --> 00:06:41,388
I just feel like anyone
130
00:06:42,147 --> 00:06:44,000
could take advantage
of me right now,
131
00:06:44,069 --> 00:06:47,871
a-ny-one.
132
00:06:47,923 --> 00:06:50,352
'kay, let's see what the blondes
have to say first.
133
00:06:50,876 --> 00:06:52,292
Well, thank you, Wendell.
134
00:06:52,377 --> 00:06:55,512
Thank you for sharing.
It's actually our time today.
135
00:07:02,337 --> 00:07:03,836
How about them
unny-funny people?
136
00:07:03,922 --> 00:07:05,054
- (laughs)
- We have the--
137
00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:06,005
We talk about
funny people all the--
138
00:07:06,057 --> 00:07:07,340
Let's talk about some unfunny--
139
00:07:07,392 --> 00:07:09,308
- We are blessed
with the power of laughter.
140
00:07:09,451 --> 00:07:11,677
Remember San Francisco?
This woman was, like--
141
00:07:11,729 --> 00:07:12,845
She's wasted, and she's like,
142
00:07:12,931 --> 00:07:15,231
"Tell me a joke."
some guy was like,
143
00:07:15,316 --> 00:07:18,584
"I don't got a joke for you,
baby, that's not my thing."
144
00:07:18,653 --> 00:07:19,819
- Yeah.
- I don't know, dude.
145
00:07:19,854 --> 00:07:21,187
What the [bleep]
she do for a living?
146
00:07:21,239 --> 00:07:22,522
- "Are-- Are you an accountant?"
- "You an accountant?"
147
00:07:22,607 --> 00:07:23,901
"Ring some numbers up for me."
148
00:07:23,954 --> 00:07:26,275
- Oh, [bleep].
149
00:07:26,361 --> 00:07:29,852
You said that
to that mythological woman...
150
00:07:30,698 --> 00:07:32,698
- With all the bravado.
- But in real life, though,
151
00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:34,867
I'd be-- I'd be,
like, "Um, um,
152
00:07:34,953 --> 00:07:37,787
chicken crossed the road."
153
00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:42,341
All right, man.
Good to see you.
154
00:07:42,377 --> 00:07:44,210
Good to see you, okay.
155
00:07:44,262 --> 00:07:48,213
All right, everybody, just let's
settle down and settle in
156
00:07:48,516 --> 00:07:51,384
and, like, totally let's get
our math on, okay?
157
00:07:51,436 --> 00:07:54,971
All right, guys, so--
158
00:07:55,056 --> 00:07:57,390
Yeah, oh!
159
00:07:57,442 --> 00:07:59,225
All right, Jimmy,
160
00:07:59,310 --> 00:08:02,979
someone's got a little extra
energy from Phys Ed, right?
161
00:08:05,254 --> 00:08:07,533
Jimmy, buddy, hey,
buddy, let's-- okay, let's--
162
00:08:07,602 --> 00:08:10,786
let's knock it off, okay?
Okay.
163
00:08:10,872 --> 00:08:12,071
He wanted me
to knock it off...
164
00:08:12,123 --> 00:08:13,406
You got me.
He got me, right, guys?
165
00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:15,074
So I knocked it off.
166
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,660
Jimmy, dude, all right,
let's take our seat.
167
00:08:17,745 --> 00:08:20,880
Take our seat.
Well, hey, hey.
168
00:08:20,915 --> 00:08:23,799
That's great.
That's great.
169
00:08:23,885 --> 00:08:25,501
- That's great.
- (robot noises)
170
00:08:25,587 --> 00:08:27,637
Very good.
Bravo, Jimmy.
171
00:08:27,722 --> 00:08:31,841
- You guys can clap.
- Yay!
172
00:08:31,926 --> 00:08:34,060
That was awesome.
Oh, I thank you.
173
00:08:34,095 --> 00:08:35,595
I thank you
for the entertainment, man.
174
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:38,731
(gibbering)
175
00:08:38,766 --> 00:08:41,184
Jimmy-- Let's go, man.
176
00:08:41,269 --> 00:08:43,736
Hey, buddy-- I don't want
to harsh your vibe, man, but--
177
00:08:43,771 --> 00:08:45,855
Ah, eureka.
178
00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:47,106
I'm gonna be honest
with you.
179
00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:49,309
You're really pushing
my buttons now, Jimmy.
180
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,577
(beeping electronically)
181
00:08:51,613 --> 00:08:52,862
You're driving me crazy, man.
182
00:08:52,947 --> 00:08:54,664
(zooming)
183
00:08:54,749 --> 00:08:58,701
(imitating a car)
184
00:08:58,786 --> 00:08:59,952
That's enough.
185
00:09:00,038 --> 00:09:03,456
You want me to write
your name on the board?
186
00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:06,125
(yells)
187
00:09:06,177 --> 00:09:07,760
Home alone,
home alone, home alone.
188
00:09:07,795 --> 00:09:10,213
Okay, Jimmy, do you want me
to call Principal Martel?
189
00:09:10,298 --> 00:09:11,297
(gasping)
190
00:09:11,382 --> 00:09:13,716
That wouldn't be bitchin',
wouldn't it?
191
00:09:13,801 --> 00:09:16,018
- (chattering)
- Okay.
192
00:09:16,104 --> 00:09:18,187
You know what, Jimmy?
You know what?
193
00:09:18,273 --> 00:09:20,523
Why don't you come up
and teach the class, man?
194
00:09:20,608 --> 00:09:21,557
Hmm?
195
00:09:21,643 --> 00:09:23,476
Wouldn't that be awesome?
196
00:09:23,561 --> 00:09:25,394
Moi?
197
00:09:30,735 --> 00:09:32,702
Okay, good.
198
00:09:32,787 --> 00:09:34,487
No, and then you know what
I'm gonna do, Jimmy?
199
00:09:34,572 --> 00:09:36,656
I'll just sit here.
How 'bout that, Jimmy,
200
00:09:36,708 --> 00:09:38,040
And we can all watch how
you're being disruptive--
201
00:09:38,126 --> 00:09:39,325
(speaks nonsense)
202
00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:42,411
Oh, I see.
That's supposed to be me.
203
00:09:42,497 --> 00:09:45,131
Right, all right,
Jimmy, okay, I see.
204
00:09:45,166 --> 00:09:46,749
I get it's supposed to be me.
205
00:09:46,834 --> 00:09:49,252
It's time to be done, Jimmy.
Don't you dare, Jimmy.
206
00:09:49,337 --> 00:09:51,137
What the--
(scissors snip)
207
00:09:56,844 --> 00:09:58,511
Oh, yeah?
208
00:09:58,563 --> 00:10:00,479
Oh, yeah?
209
00:10:00,515 --> 00:10:03,566
Oh, yeah?
210
00:10:03,651 --> 00:10:07,770
(unintelligible scream)
211
00:10:07,855 --> 00:10:11,357
Well, this is you, Jimmy!
212
00:10:11,409 --> 00:10:17,413
(screaming nonsense)
213
00:10:17,498 --> 00:10:21,167
I'm you, Jimmy!
(screams nonsense)
214
00:10:21,202 --> 00:10:25,204
(growling and screaming)
215
00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:26,455
How 'bout that, Jimmy, huh?
216
00:10:26,541 --> 00:10:27,873
"Oh, I'm gonna slap five!
217
00:10:27,959 --> 00:10:30,343
"Give me five!"
Give me-- Give me five!
218
00:10:30,378 --> 00:10:32,094
Huh, how 'bout that, huh?
219
00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:33,296
That's you, Jimmy!
220
00:10:33,381 --> 00:10:35,548
"I'm Jimmy.
221
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,551
"I'm Jimmy,
and I need attention!
222
00:10:38,636 --> 00:10:42,054
"Yeah, I'm Jimmy! I'm Jimmy!
223
00:10:42,106 --> 00:10:43,889
"Oh, lookie here.
I'm a baby boy.
224
00:10:43,941 --> 00:10:45,141
"That's the funniest thing
225
00:10:45,226 --> 00:10:48,227
"that ever happened
in the whole world!
226
00:10:48,313 --> 00:10:50,980
"I'm Jimmy!
I want attention!
227
00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:52,281
"Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy,
wiggy, wiggy, wiggy!
228
00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:53,316
"I'm Jimmy!
I'm Jimmy!"
229
00:10:53,401 --> 00:10:55,117
(high-pitched gibberish)
230
00:10:55,203 --> 00:10:57,069
Mr. Friar!
231
00:10:57,121 --> 00:10:59,038
Principal Martel!
No, what?
232
00:10:59,073 --> 00:11:01,207
No, no, no, no,
no, it was Jimmy.
233
00:11:01,242 --> 00:11:02,908
It was Jimmy, Principal Martel.
234
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,377
No, Jimmy--
235
00:11:04,412 --> 00:11:06,128
It was Jimmy!
236
00:11:06,214 --> 00:11:10,049
It was Jimmy!
237
00:11:15,223 --> 00:11:17,590
Whoo!
(all cheering)
238
00:11:17,658 --> 00:11:21,260
Jimmy!
239
00:11:21,346 --> 00:11:26,065
(all) Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,
240
00:11:26,134 --> 00:11:31,437
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,
Jimmy, Jimmy,
241
00:11:31,522 --> 00:11:35,078
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,
(cheering)
242
00:11:45,803 --> 00:11:47,469
Contextualize the whole thing.
243
00:11:47,554 --> 00:11:49,971
They're a step
ahead of us every single time.
244
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:51,857
- Oh, absolutely.
- A step ahead every--
245
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,533
Dicknanigans.
246
00:11:57,601 --> 00:12:00,636
(somber ambient music)
247
00:12:00,705 --> 00:12:04,475
248
00:12:27,364 --> 00:12:30,566
(honks car horn)
(crash)
249
00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:32,735
No.
250
00:12:37,241 --> 00:12:40,292
(both) Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
251
00:12:40,377 --> 00:12:42,327
(whispering)
Dicknanigans.
252
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,830
It's amazing.
253
00:12:44,915 --> 00:12:48,417
(indistinct chatter)
254
00:13:13,694 --> 00:13:15,360
Worms!
255
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:18,447
(somber ambient music)
256
00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:19,865
257
00:13:19,950 --> 00:13:22,084
Dicknanigans.
258
00:13:22,119 --> 00:13:23,919
It's a dialogue
without dialogue.
259
00:13:23,954 --> 00:13:26,455
Absolutely.
I feel like they're in my head.
260
00:13:31,212 --> 00:13:33,962
(Debussy's Clair de lune
playing)
261
00:13:34,048 --> 00:13:37,049
(gentle piano music)
262
00:13:37,134 --> 00:13:41,105
263
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,464
(imitating a metal spring)
264
00:14:12,169 --> 00:14:14,002
(gasping in appreciation)
265
00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:18,891
Dicknanigans.
266
00:14:18,976 --> 00:14:20,489
Wow.
267
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,763
(whimpering)
Poop.
268
00:14:24,849 --> 00:14:27,266
Dicknanigans.
269
00:14:27,351 --> 00:14:28,567
Frisbees.
270
00:14:28,652 --> 00:14:30,352
Dicknanigans.
271
00:14:30,404 --> 00:14:32,521
So--
(guttural sounds)
272
00:14:32,606 --> 00:14:34,656
Dicknanigans.
273
00:14:34,692 --> 00:14:37,693
Solange.
274
00:14:37,745 --> 00:14:39,611
Dicknanigans!
275
00:14:42,666 --> 00:14:44,199
Oh.
276
00:14:57,848 --> 00:14:59,681
(audience cheering)
277
00:15:07,224 --> 00:15:10,058
Gentlemen,
278
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,659
"exploded nuts syndrome"
is a condition
279
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:16,016
indicated by the presence
of exploded nuts,
280
00:15:16,052 --> 00:15:18,251
which yours are.
281
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:22,237
By the way,
I saw your show last night.
282
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:23,906
Amazing.
283
00:15:33,292 --> 00:15:37,261
What if we did a scene
where we're standing there
284
00:15:37,296 --> 00:15:39,797
and our dicks are out.
285
00:15:39,882 --> 00:15:41,215
We don't blur it, nothing.
286
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:47,054
Just--show open,
our [bleep] next to each other.
287
00:15:47,139 --> 00:15:49,356
What is the story
that the dicks are telling?
288
00:15:49,441 --> 00:15:50,774
Well, that's what we-- Okay,
now we're talking.
289
00:15:50,810 --> 00:15:51,942
Now we're brainstorming.
290
00:15:51,977 --> 00:15:54,611
So I'm thinking it's that--
291
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:55,929
- they're neighbors.
- Okay.
292
00:15:56,015 --> 00:15:57,147
- Okay.
- Yes.
293
00:15:57,182 --> 00:16:00,384
So they come out
of their houses...
294
00:16:00,452 --> 00:16:01,701
- Okay, mm-hmm.
- in the--
295
00:16:01,737 --> 00:16:03,604
- in the beginning of the day...
- Right, right.
296
00:16:03,989 --> 00:16:05,656
And, you know, my dick
would be like
297
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:07,741
"Hey, Johnson."
You know, something like that.
298
00:16:07,827 --> 00:16:10,661
Right, and mine-- mine
would be named-- "Hi, I'm Willy."
299
00:16:10,746 --> 00:16:12,713
Right, right--
so already we're gold.
300
00:16:12,798 --> 00:16:14,498
The jokes will write
themselves, man.
301
00:16:14,583 --> 00:16:17,000
How many dick puns are there?
302
00:16:17,052 --> 00:16:19,002
A myriad amount of dick puns.
303
00:16:19,054 --> 00:16:20,685
Okay, "let's go out
and play ball."
304
00:16:20,739 --> 00:16:22,256
- Okay, you know what I'm saying?
- Okay, right, I got you.
305
00:16:22,341 --> 00:16:24,057
- I hear you.
- "I'm gonna go in for a second
306
00:16:24,143 --> 00:16:28,145
"and eat my breakfast,
some scrote-meal."
307
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:30,013
God, "scrote-meal" alone
is almost worth it.
308
00:16:30,099 --> 00:16:31,014
Absolutely.
309
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,016
We open with "scrote-meal."
310
00:16:37,809 --> 00:16:39,898
What's wrong with you, boy?
You keep your hands off my woman!
311
00:16:39,941 --> 00:16:42,558
- Your woman? I saw her first.
- Don't you talk like that, dipshit.
312
00:16:42,594 --> 00:16:44,043
Don't you put your hands
on her.
313
00:16:44,148 --> 00:16:44,821
That's my woman!
314
00:16:44,863 --> 00:16:46,033
(jazz music) (audience applause)
And now...
315
00:16:46,074 --> 00:16:48,019
for the scat stylings of
316
00:16:48,071 --> 00:16:50,218
Rex "The Bone Daddy" Ronson
317
00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:53,116
and Teddy "12 Combs" Lewis.
318
00:17:02,252 --> 00:17:05,253
(both)
Zoo do dweep
bodo dwape, zoodo dweep
319
00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:11,226
Zodo ba datin wop wop
wa wop wow
320
00:17:11,261 --> 00:17:15,096
Butt, butt, butt,
butt, butt, butt, butt, butt
321
00:17:15,182 --> 00:17:17,015
Hoppy geebo derpa day
322
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:18,433
Your breath smells
like a butt
323
00:17:18,518 --> 00:17:20,402
Your bop bop, booty bop
324
00:17:20,437 --> 00:17:24,207
Your whole mouth smells like
an open ass
325
00:17:25,066 --> 00:17:27,471
Butt, poop, poo
326
00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:33,198
Way we vwee vway,
fat, fat, wat dway
327
00:17:33,283 --> 00:17:35,951
Fatty used to chewby doo
you're fat
328
00:17:36,003 --> 00:17:38,453
You're a fat, fat
fat, fay, fay, ba boo fatty
329
00:17:38,538 --> 00:17:41,006
Fah boo bah, fe, fi, fo fum
330
00:17:41,091 --> 00:17:44,292
What do I smell
but some fat next to me
331
00:17:44,344 --> 00:17:45,594
That's the man, fatty mm
332
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:51,099
Potty foo fay fe, fo, fat
333
00:17:51,134 --> 00:17:54,135
Hiddle bit little bit
dibbidy dobbidy doo la la da
334
00:17:54,187 --> 00:17:56,972
Teenily weenily hoddily
hiddily littla bittla
335
00:17:57,024 --> 00:17:58,641
Baby penis
336
00:17:59,309 --> 00:18:02,944
337
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:07,032
Feel free to suck it
338
00:18:07,117 --> 00:18:08,483
Suck it and suck it
and suck it
339
00:18:08,568 --> 00:18:10,118
And suck it
and suck it and suck it
340
00:18:10,153 --> 00:18:11,486
Feel free to suck it
341
00:18:11,538 --> 00:18:14,122
Feel free to suck it
feel free to suck it
342
00:18:14,157 --> 00:18:15,824
Feel free to suck it
you can suck it
343
00:18:15,909 --> 00:18:18,960
And put it in
in your mouth
344
00:18:18,996 --> 00:18:22,330
Stop, mop
345
00:18:22,382 --> 00:18:24,833
Your face, your face,
your face
346
00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:26,835
Looks like a ball sack
347
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,838
No wrinkle dinkle doos
sticky doop
348
00:18:29,923 --> 00:18:32,928
Ba dee do, wrinkle
dinkle dee dee ball sack
349
00:18:34,428 --> 00:18:37,395
(scatting)
350
00:18:37,481 --> 00:18:39,681
Tellenum, tellenum, ten oh,
ten, you a taint, you a taint
351
00:18:39,733 --> 00:18:41,016
You're a taint
you're a taint
352
00:18:41,101 --> 00:18:43,018
The space
between the butt and balls
353
00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:47,056
Taint face, you tainty taint
your face is a taint, taint
354
00:18:48,162 --> 00:18:50,001
Taint, taint
355
00:18:50,034 --> 00:18:51,409
Take it back
356
00:18:51,495 --> 00:18:53,361
-
No, I won't
-
Take it back
357
00:18:53,447 --> 00:18:55,363
-
I never will
-
Take it back
358
00:18:55,415 --> 00:18:57,165
-
No, I won't, never will
-
Take it back, take it back
359
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,533
-
Take it back
-
No, I won't
360
00:18:58,585 --> 00:18:59,868
(both)
'cause you're
a son of a, son of a
361
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,504
Son of a, son of a bitch,
bitch, bitch
362
00:19:02,539 --> 00:19:06,507
Son of a, son of a, son of a,
son of a bitch, bitch, bitch
363
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:10,762
(cheers and applause)
364
00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:22,284
You don't need to fight
over me
365
00:19:22,832 --> 00:19:25,896
There's plenty
of the va-ga-
366
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,865
(scatting)
367
00:19:28,913 --> 00:19:30,452
Gina
368
00:19:30,953 --> 00:19:34,060
Vagina
369
00:19:34,895 --> 00:19:38,433
There's plenty of, of, of
370
00:19:38,862 --> 00:19:40,862
You know what
I'm talking about, right?
371
00:19:40,957 --> 00:19:42,957
(laughs)
Y'all know what I'm talking about.
372
00:19:57,007 --> 00:20:00,172
Don't you-- Do you know
what RandB is?
373
00:20:00,244 --> 00:20:02,143
Do you know some really
good modern RandB?
374
00:20:02,186 --> 00:20:04,108
I've been listening to it
longer than rock 'n' roll.
375
00:20:04,156 --> 00:20:05,310
That modern [bleep].
376
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,881
I'm not talking about
old school RandB.
377
00:20:06,962 --> 00:20:09,766
I'm talking about that:
Come on, let me get--
378
00:20:10,401 --> 00:20:13,215
I'm gonna
hit it from the back
379
00:20:13,261 --> 00:20:15,695
That's what they're talking about
nowadays in RandB.
380
00:20:15,838 --> 00:20:17,139
That's what
they're talking about?
381
00:20:17,139 --> 00:20:19,810
I'm not talking about like
I want to court you
382
00:20:19,859 --> 00:20:21,261
I'm not talking about that stuff.
383
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,001
Ain't it stuff where
I'm gettting right into the
384
00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:24,574
"Where I put this thing
inside your body?"
385
00:20:24,574 --> 00:20:26,328
- Yes.
- I don't listen
386
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,698
- to that kind of music.
- It's-- It's--
387
00:20:27,714 --> 00:20:31,212
RandB these days is like
a literal description
388
00:20:31,278 --> 00:20:33,660
of sexual intercourse.
It's like...
389
00:20:33,705 --> 00:20:37,443
My penis will go
in your vagina
390
00:20:37,523 --> 00:20:40,856
No, it's not.
No, it... Really?
391
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000
Semen will come out
392
00:20:43,066 --> 00:20:44,013
Mmmm...
393
00:20:44,053 --> 00:20:47,041
I must say too
we might have a baby
394
00:20:48,021 --> 00:20:49,395
(laughs)
395
00:20:49,934 --> 00:20:52,180
- Really?
- That's how far it's come.
396
00:20:52,229 --> 00:20:54,229
I'm gonna do my one line here
397
00:20:54,327 --> 00:20:56,327
Oh, yeah!
398
00:20:56,459 --> 00:21:00,272
Sync and corrections by dwigt
addic7ed.com
399
00:21:00,322 --> 00:21:04,872
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0